Report
Brock Stringham here reporting from Lord Darthac’s castle. I’d assign a dateline to this, but my stay in Dartha seems to have affected my sense of time and I have no idea what month this is, let alone the exact day. I have managed to gain access to a computer in the castle; however, I am only able to log on to Livejournal. I would like to take this opportunity to post an article I have written about Lord Darthac and the recent Chimpandillo attack in White Stone. Hopefully, someone at White Stone Illuminations is paying attention and will publish it. I would like to add that I had been warned that Lord Darthac was short-tempered and small-minded, but I believe this article will show that he is just a simple man whose big dreams for his country have been trampled on by the Foundation and its “heroes”. He also makes me feel very sleepy...



DARTHA – After the recent chaos in White Stone caused by the Chimpandillo attack, many people have tried to assign blame to the Regent of the sovereign principality of Dartha, Lord Darthac. Darthac, who often turns down requests for interviews due, to what he says, is the tendency in the media to "belittle his authority" and "minimize his good deeds", asked to be interviewed to set the record straight regarding the recent attack.

Although Darthac was responsible for the despatch of the Chimpandillos, he believes that he was completely within his rights to do so due to recent activities by the Foundation.

Dartha has been under investigation by the UN for the possible manufacture of Weapons of Doomsday-like Destruction (WDLD). Several inspectors have been sent to the tiny principality, but were not always allowed the kind of access needed to assess the situation properly. Some inspectors have also disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

When asked about the inspectors Darthac bristled "The inspectors were allowed to roam my country freely. Reports of any mistreatment have been fabricated by the Foundation to give credibility to their espionage and thievery."

According to Darthac, after the return of the last set of inspectors, who found nothing of any consequence in Dartha, the Foundation sent spies to Lord Darthac’s castle and stole a Red Rock, which is an ancient family heirloom.

Ninja Person, a Foundation employee and current detainee at Darthac’s castle, has, after some coaxing, confirmed that a stealth squad was sent to the castle and that Ninja Person took a mysterious Red Rock from the castle. Darthac is now refusing to allow Ninja Person to return to White Stone until the Red Rock is returned to him.

"I am righteously indignant," Darthac said in the interview. "The Foundation has no right to stomp on the rights and privileges of sovereign nations based on unfounded rumours and speculation. Ninja Person and the Foundation illegally broke into my castle and robbed me of something very important and I demand that they be held responsible for this!"

"Perhaps the Chimpandillos were not the right way to go, but what else is a small country like mine to do when faced with this kind of bullying?"

Darthac continued: "The Foundation is not happy with me because I will not allow their heroes to fly around my country 'saving' people. I believe that that is the job of my police force and army. Besides, our crime rates are so low that we don’t need the Foundation."

Darthac also expressed his dissatisfaction with his portrayal in the media. "Do they write about our low crime rate? Free health care? The 98% literacy rate? No! Instead they buy into the Foundation reports about my desire for World Domination."

"I’m just a simple man whose big dreams for his country have been trampled on by the Foundation and its 'heroes'. I feel my role is to stand up for the little guy, to stop the Foundation from violating the sovereignty of other nations."